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My Personal Journey

Pia Bardou • Feb. 22, 2020
I love being a woman.
It hasn’t always been like that.
In this very first of my blog articles I will talk about my own personal journey.

I come from a family where sexual abuse has happened for generations, so I used to see women as victims and femaleness was deeply linked to weakness. I used to feel uncomfortable and competitive around women, I could handle guys much easier.
I always felt kind of alien like in my home town Ulm and moved to Berlin shortly after finishing school.

Funny enough, it was the Oktoberfest was what brought me my first experience with the healing energy of a women group. When I was 22 years old, I went to Munich to work there and shared a flat with two other women. And we just cared for each other so lovingly and free from judgement and competition, it was pure healing power. These two women 12 years later still belong to my dearest friends and I am still so grateful for that experience!

After that I spent a year in New Zealand, travelling. This was the first time I truly connected to the earth. To the great mother that is carrying us unconditionally. 
After that, my life still went on with me being mainly hard and cool. And I went on hurting myself and other in sexual adventures and unhealthy relationships.
Seeing a bodyworker who was working with the Grinberg method kicked off some motion into my perceptions though. I started to actually FEEL my body and my emotions instead of being numb.
Still, I became an owner of two fashion jewellery stores in Berlin, which brought me to the darkest night of the soul I have experienced so far. It just emptied me out. So that was definitely a turning point in my life, I decided to never do anything again that I don’t love.

I started working as a nanny and a caterer for organic vegan food. I also started studying nutritional science and met a man who is now my husband. I became pregnant „by accident“ (today I am sure we gave our permission, but at that time it felt like our son had just decided to join us right now, without any concern for my career and our relationship plans).
I soon dropped out of university and dived deep into my pregnancy and the new universe it was presenting to me. I faced my fear of birth with practising hypnobirthing and bringing a lot of anxiety from my subconscious level to my conscious mind, so I could feel it and then let go. It was a huge transformation. Giving birth to my son was a deeply spiritual, empowering experience, and, by the way, almost pain free. 
But also, with the birth, my identity was shattered. I had given birth to my baby and also to myself as a mother. It took me a long time to find myself again in that new role.

We got married and soon decided to have another child. When our son was 2 years old, or daughter was born. At home, in a birthing pool and without a midwife. She just arrived to deliver the placenta. Even though it was painful, because I was busy with organising the home birth and couldn’t get out of my head during the 3 hours the birth took, when it became clear to us that the midwife wouldn’t arrive in time, something shifted. I took full responsibility for myself and the baby. This felt so natural and easy, it didn’t even feel huge for me. It was just the way women had been doing it for aeons, over and over again, and now I was one of them.

During that time of pregnancy, birth and young motherhood, more and more women came to me seeking for support, information and inspiration. My coaching abilities, that had always been strong, grew and my path became clearer. Now that my kids are old enough to not need me 24/7 any more, I am focusing on my professional path. I found the women school and joined the feminine healer training program. The feminine healer womb medicine intensive training was definitely another turning point in my life. I can't even put what I've experienced, but the word magic has a deeper meaning to me than it used to have. I have seen magic, I have experienced magic, I have created magic. This magic is held deep within my womb space and I am absolutely grateful for this gift!

I have learnt so much in the past years, so much has shifted in my perception of the world and the universe.
And I am so incomprehensibly grateful for that. I finally feel in peace and at home, after a long journey of seeking. 
There is little space left for competition or judgement towards other women, or all people. I am so full of compassion, admiration and respect for everyone’s choices and behaviour. Sure enough, I do fall back into old patterns. But they feel weird and strange now, they don't really belong to me anymore. 

I AM SURE, our planet and all of humanity will heal and the damaging systems will disappear. 
It is our choice what we do with our lives. Everything is a choice, free will is the greatest asset. But the energies within and around our planet have shifted and the room for suffering is shrinking. I can feel that very strongly. We are remembering our creative power, consciously creating the world we want to live in.

BEING WOMAN Blog

Du heilst Mutter Erde

von Pia Bardou • 01 März, 2020
Dieser Blogartikel ist eine Geschichte, die mich sehr berührt, aus dem Buch von Heidi Sanchana Risi "Du heilst Mutter Erde" Mein Sohn liebt sie auch und als ich sie ihm letztens vorgelesen habe, habe ich vor Rührung geweint. Er fragte "Mama, warum weinst du?" Ich antwortete: "Weil ich die Geschichte so schön finde." "Ich find sie auch schön!"
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